New Facebook Privacy Controls!

In other news, I just took a nice shit and I’m feeling pretty good about it. You know, one of those shits that make you feel like you shed a few pounds and makes you feel hungry again.. even if you just ate an hour ago. Let me demonstrate.

Oh, the news article.. I really wanted to forget about that.

Britney Must Eat K-Fed’s Legal Fees

In a shocking turn of events, Britney Spears was ordered to consume and digest 375,000 dollars in legal fees. This has put her in a tough situation. Just the idea of choking down potentially hundreds of POUNDS of cotton is going to be a unimaginably rough on her digestive system. And you thought a life of fortune and fame was the perfect life. Why don’t you try eating dollar bills. They aren’t tasty.

Horton Hears A Who Gives A Shit

Dr. Seuss + Movie = $$$. The end.

I just can’t muster the energy to write any more about this. I’m soooo bored. ASIAN FACE! ^___________^

Article here but I strongly recommend not even reading it because you are just wasting your time.

L.A. Hospital May Staff Spears Over FIRE!

Oh my god, that is frightening. I mean we all enjoy seeing this celebrity destroy her career but to hire her (which is odd enough), then BURN her with FLAMES??? That’s a bit unnecessary and I’ll be the first to say.. leave Britney ALONE!!!

Oh.. I’ve just been informed that I misread the news headline and it apparently should read: L.A. Hospital May Fire Staff Over Spears. Oh well.. I tried to read that headline but I cared so little about it that my eyes actually lost focus.

Oh good, Harry Potter final movie in 2 parts!

How old is the dude who plays Harry Potter now… 47? WOW.. if they can get away with this shit.. I want to see Macaulay Culkin do Home Alone 5. Seriously though, this is unnecessary.

I don’t know anything about Harry Potter. But apparently this crappy news article may be of interest to you.

No marriage for Clooney. Oh hi.

 Yeah, it’s been a while. And by a while, something like a lot of months since my last blog post. Unfortunately I just didn’t care enough about what was going on to write about it. But, I’ll try working on that.

Let’s come back with a BANG. No Clooney marriage? OH SNAP… OH SNAP… OH… wait what? I don’t know what I’m doing..

Seriously, should I feel sorry for him? I’m sure he’ll be able to find another 15 year old to ride on the back of his motorcycle. You like what I did there? I wasn’t actually getting worked up over this. I just made it sound like I was by going with something I know about George Clooney (his motorcycle). I couldn’t give 2 shits what the guy does.

Oh, I almost forgot to give you this fantastic news article that you are anticipating on a level I can’t even imagine.